It took me awhile to edit this film because I’ve been busy at work, and then had a friend visit for a week, and then my dad for a week right after that. I don’t remember when this happened but I think it was about a month or so ago.
I found out through a google search that the woman who harassed me at my first real estate job is an Eastern Star, the women’s division of Free Masons here in NYC.
I used to be a skeptic… I was the first one to poo-poo these “conspiracy theories,” and when a friend of mine started taping over her webcam, I just saw it as a bit of paranoia. Now, there is no doubt in my mind that people can be targeted for almost no reason. These are average people (VERY AVERAGE, IN MY OPINION, THINKING BACK ON MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO HARASSED ME.) Many of them are not particularly special or spectacular in any way, and having spent some time around Lynnette, I found her to be particularly ineducated and “trashy.” I’m going to say that I have a facebook friend who was a (male) Mason, and having known him, he was smart, highly educated, personable, and I never had a problem with him. I am going to refrain from jumping to the conclusion here that I am being targeted by FreeMasons in particular, because in much the same way that one corrupt cop can smear the entire police department’s reputation, I think that one or two chapters of militantly insane Free Mason’s might have the same effect on an entire organization’s reputation. One of my favorite quotes from George Carlin is “never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” Carlin’s genius was in stating the obvious in a way that was humorous… making a dark subject a bit lighter. I am terrified at the state of the country.
Here is the link to the film I made, including audio with Lynette www.youtube.com/watch?v=BseJ7IpJNbU
If you haven’t been following my blog, Lynette was involved in harassment against me at my first job. Shortly after she began harassing me, an email was sent out to three offices of my company which contained explicit images of me from my adult film days. The email was sent out by “tipman” and the subject line was “this is what ***** Realty stands for.” My manager was a very conservative Palestinian guy, and he felt sort of backed into a corner amidst complaints from a few people at my office and had to let me go.
As noted in a previous post, I was fired from my job due to mutiple emails from someone named “tipman” who emailed three offices at the real estate firm that I worked at with photos of me from my adult films. I’ve already posted a video I made with tape recordings of the woman who relentlessly harassed me through various means, and i’ve found enough new links to start a new page. Thankfully, this phenomenon is coming to light as something real and not simply some sort of paranoid halluciantion on the part of the victim.
Recent story in psychology today about workplace “mobbing” or adult bullying on steroids.
New story about a woman who was able to prosecute and convict her female harasser
Informational video about workplace bullying
Hour long television show about workplace bullying
Perhaps due to numerous factors, including the fact that since I have been driving it has not been easy to get to me, the harassment seems to have abated almost entirely. Especially in light of the events of today concerning Malaysian airlines, I began thinking about how fragile and transient life can be, and how much I love being alive, and how many blessings I have that make my life worth living. I am so thankful for my health, my intelligence, my incredible kids, the warm summer weather, and the simple pleasures of ripe fruit and sweet tea.
I’ve read in so many blogs about how it’s virtually impossible to protect yourself from this type of harassment, but the reality is, there are a lot of things you can do.
1) Smart phone related
-use signal blocking pouches
-turn off location finders
-set pass words on your phone
-many sites say moving doesn’t help, but the reality is, it DOES as long as you move to a location where you have a lot of privacy
-moving also means avoiding the circumstances in which you are most harassed. In my case it was on the train, so initially after I moved I was able to take the express bus to work. This helped a lot but when I got a car, virtually all of the harassment stopped. I guess it became too difficult to follow me around.
3)Document what you are experiencing as evidence against allegations of paranoia
-there are numerous small sized and “spy” cameras on the market. Use them.
-carry a digital recorder
-keep a log of emails to friends and family
-take photos — this freaks them out to no end. Many of them ran away after I took photos.
-save documentation related to medical care
4)Don’t talk too much to the wrong people
-don’t start telling people about your ordeal until you have a substantial amount of evidence. If they think you are crazy it will affect your credibility in the future.
-tell a few people that you trust, especially if they spend a lot of time with you and can act as a witness to some of the events.
5)confront the harassers
-I wish I had confronted the issue the minute I became aware that something was foul. They need to be confronted in a calm rational manner, and be video taped or tape recorded while you are doing it. They don’t want to be exposed, and often the simple act of turning on a recorder will deter them from their behavior.
6) know your rights
-you have the right to run a video recorder in any publicly owned space
-you have the right to defend yourself against physical assaults
-you do not have to put up with harassment or discrimination in your place of work or at your college, or your children’s school.
7)Keep your cool, but don’t let people push you around or walk all over you either.
-admittedly I lost my cool more than once, however, I think in a couple situations my response was justified.
8)Take extra care of yourself
-get massages, work out/exercise, meditate, listen to music, or do whatever it takes to get you into a relaxed state of mind, in order to counteract the stress.
-have hobbies or interests that you love that can help you take your mind off of things.
-schedule extra time with people who’s company you enjoy.
I am not naive enough to think that all the assaults against me will stop. I believe they will likely try to find some other method, and of course, it’s awfully hard to know if someone is sending emails to people at your work unless someone tells you about it. Of course, nothing can stop people from spreading false gossip unless it is in print or some sort of media, in which case you could sue them for defamation. I think that I have seen the dark underbelly of people who consider themselves to be “spreading the love” and it’s more terrifying than being confronted with a pit full of vipers. At least vipers react rationally to things.
This incident happened almost three weeks ago already, but I”ve been pretty busy with work (did a few deals, I’m happy to say!) and I haven’t had time to edit this and post it. I got a very strange phone call just after midnight. I did not answer it because it was obvious it was a spoof call. The next day when I was more clear headed I tried calling the number back, not really expecting to get anything of course, and of course the call didn’t go through.
A few good links follow:
David Lawon – a former FBI Agent – writes an account of how he was able to follow and in a few cases infiltrate organized stalking groups. This webpage discusses some tactics used by stalkers, including noise harassment of different types and vehicle sabotage, including slashed tires and drained fluids.
Here is a Wikipedia entry detailing how the Stasi (East German Socialist Government officials) practiced a technique called “Zersetzung” which translates into “decoomposition.” The goal of this practice was to break down support networks, streams of income, and eventually, the target individual’s mental and physical health.
More links will be added when I have time.
I thought that covering the topic of “sensitization” was worth a write. So what is sensitization? In order to understand this, I’d like to draw from common knowledge and research concerning victims of PTSD. This is very common members of the U.S. military who have served in combat. They often are numbed to different stimuli, such as loud gunfire or detonations, during the time of combat, but when they return, loud sounds will trigger very strong reactions, panic attacks, fear, and flashbacks. Everyone agrees upon this and no one debates that this type of sensitization is a real phenomenon.
Now, imagine that you are at work and a group of your co-worker’s decides that they don’t like you. Imagine that they know that they can’t be outright mean to you, due to worker’s rights and harassment laws, but they devise a plan of action intended to slowly drive you crazy so you either snap and commit an offense nasty enough to get you fired, quit due to the stress, or suffer from such low performance due to the stress that you get fired.
Everyday, several of your co-workers pass by your desk and discretely kick the back of your chair, making it seem like an accident. They do this as often as they can, perhaps ten times or so an hour. They may clear their throat very loudly and spit into a waste basket near your desk. Others may engage in conversation which contains a repeated joke or maybe a phrase that gets repeated over and over that is designed to target your insecurities. It might be something having to do with a physical feature, unfashionable dress habit, body odor, or anything else that they possibly can dig up to trigger you. They might have to experiment a little bit to see what you respond to. At first you may barely even notice it, but after a few days, it becomes clear that the repetitious behavior has been designed to push your buttons. As time goes on, you begin to notice the small kicks, nasty habits, and conversation more and more. You have been “sensitized” to it.
You may ask them to be more careful, or point out that this is happening, if you are the assertive type (many of the victims of this sort of thing are not.) Your co-workers will tell you that you are being overly sensitive, or they may even deny that the kicks ever happened at all. They may assert that they “have no idea what you are talking about,” or even insinuate that you are crazy. If you dare accuse them of conspiring against you, they’ve got you in the clinch. If you lose your cool even for a moment, they will jump on this and complain to management about some bad behavior, in order to establish that you are the “bad guy” for later instances of bad behavior. They will often try to assert that you’re paranoid or loosing you mind, or that you are “overly sensitive.”
As weeks turn into months, each kick becomes psychologically magnified in your mind, so that even the smallest of kicks feels like a significant hit. You may begin to feel like you are kicked or noise harassed in other situations, like at restaurants or when you are sitting in a public library and accidentally kicked, or even by a family member who has no knowledge of what has been going on, but who was able to trigger a stress response in you due to Pavlovian mechanisms which are too complicated to spend time describing here. Once this begins happening, you have been “sensitized.” Your perception of reality has been altered, and although mentally, if you are intelligent, you understand that your family member had no intention of kicking your chair, it still may trigger a powerful emotional or aggressive response.
Interestingly enough, although the word sensitization is often used on sites discussing organized harassment, I don’t feel that I’ve ever found an in depth definition or discussion of exactly the mechanism by which it occurs. It’s meaning is cleaned from contextual cues in the material. I had to draw on some of my background in psychology in order to write this, but I hope it is informative and thought provocative.