It had come to my attention six months ago that the last time my children had been to the dentist was about two years ago, when they were under my care. My daughter, who is now nine years old, has already had her adult teeth for several years, and it was very disconcerting to know that they had not been getting proper dental care. To be honest, however, I was not really surprised. Most of the planning for the children’s health and well being had come under my auspices when they were in my custody, and I was the one to make their first dental appointments when my daughter had her first adult tooth come in. Combined with the fact that my children had shown up numerous times improperly dressed during the winter, in only short sleeves and no layers, oftentimes without mittens, I remembered how when I first met Alex I wondered if he was borderline autistic.
Aside from being overly analytical and overly concerned with objects, he does not laugh often, never sings or whistles, and the small social niceties of life such as having the children call my grandmother or my dad (or even sending a card) on their birthday or holidays seem to escape him. He is oftentimes unable to demonstrate empathy, and has a hard time understanding how other people feel. After two years of couples therapy with no progress, I began to understand that he was simply lacking in the most basic types of social intelligence.
After months of commenting to my visitation supervisor about the lack of dental care, and then taking my children to a local drugstore during one of the visits to buy children’s teeth floss, at long last, they were taken to the dentist. All of this begs the question: with the vast amounts of resources available to the Cornfelds, and the full time childcare that they have available, including nannies who take the children to all kinds of appointments, why were they not taken to the dentist sooner? Why did it never cross their father’s mind, after almost two and a half years under his care, that his children might need to have their teeth checked? I would be very VERY surprised if I had heard that Alex had not been to the dentist lately. He wants for nothing, and wears ten thousand dollar suits and six hundred dollar pairs of shoes, and YET my daughter shows up in sweat pants and sweatshirts EVERY WEEK and my son has shown up without his glasses for the past two months.
I sincerely worry about the state of the country, the corruption inherent in the “justice” system and the child “wellfare” professionals who are supposed to act in the best interest of the children, who should not be swayed by bribes, coercion, slanderous statements, or crony politics. The Cornfelds managed to take this case immediately to Supreme court without any prior litigation, served me papers only two days before the appearance (which I found out later is illegal,) and then the judge voted in favor of a motion to block my own forensic psychologist, Dr NG Berrill, who is highly respected in his field of work, and who submitted a report stating that I had “no psychosis of any kind” according to a test administered, and that I posed “no physical threat to my children or myself,” according to his further examinations. Because psychiatric diagnoses are highly subjective, it is ALMOST UNHEARD OF for second witnesses such as this to be blocked in court. The witnesses were blocked due to an allegation from legal representatives on the part of the Cornfelds which claimed based on one single phrase in the report that Berrill was uncertain about his diagnosis.
What I have come to realize is that many of these social signs Alex exhibits, mainly, lack of empathy, are also the trademark signs of anti-social personality disorder, defined by the DSM 5 defines as behaviors which violate various laws, such as lying for personal gain, forgery, bribery, and general deceit and manipulation of others, as well as impulsive behavior, such as heavy drinking, cocaine use, and compulsive gambling (as opposed to occasional, recreational gambling. Those with anti-social personality disorder (or in lay language, a “socio-path”) blatantly disregard the health, well being, and emotional needs of those around them. Some socio paths engage in violent and aggressive behaviors, but others, like Bernie Madoff, commit white collar crimes because they crave the ego stroking that having lots of money and adoration affords them. Lastly, and most importantly, they exhibit no remorse for the results that their behavior has on those around them, including their kids, family, and people close to them.
The lay public often confuses the term “anti-social behavior” with introverted behavior, or even social avoidance behavior. These things are not related to the clinical definition of “anti-social behavior.” In fact, socio-paths can often be quite charismatic, charming, and loved by others, and this is exactly the way in which they are able to manipulate them into doing their dirty work.
I am worried about both of my children, who are exceptionally bright, but especially my daughter, who has a genius IQ as confirmed by a director of Mensa, who received her full psych report conducted by the school. The psychologist at the school refused to sign off on her report, telling me that the school district could not send reports meant for internal use to an outside organization, and the director at Mensa confirmed that other parents in New York City reported similar problems. My daugher, like myself, is highly sensitive, introverted, and especially needs the emotional interaction that she has been robbed of since my absence. She has become more and more quiet and withdrawn since the separation, and since I am not allowed phone calls (even on holidays such as Christmas and birthdays) it is very difficult to ascertain exactly what the problem might be at the Cornfeld household.